I like this essay. I should have no trouble publishing it. I’m so proud for taking the editor’s advice the last time we corresponded. It’s timely, the correct length, and she hasn’t published anything else like it. I’m sure she’ll take it.
When she says “yes,” the essay will go viral around the globe, and I’ll finally get an agent.
Let’s see, the other times I’ve submitted to her, I was either accepted the next day, rejected the same day or 10 days later, or she didn’t respond at all. How long should I wait to bug her since I need to publish this by next month?
*Rereads essay. Yep, I still like it. Maybe she’s busy.
If she has time to tweet, she has time to read my essay.
*Checks Twitter again.
Crap, she’s dealing with a social media shit storm surrounding another essay she just published. I’m screwed.
I bet she’s already read it.
My essay is total nonsense. The other time she published my work was a fluke. I should quit writing forever.
Stop it. You think this every time, and every time it eventually works out. Keep going.
*Refreshes email. *Refreshes email again. *Tries to write something new. *Can’t. Too distracted.
She hasn’t had time to get to it, and she’s not thinking about you at all. Calm down.
*Makes a list of other places to send the essay and tries to decide how long to wait for the editor to respond.
*Waits a week and sends a nice, pressure-less follow-up email and hopes it doesn’t annoy her. Doesn’t hear back.
I only have time to send this to maybe two or three more places before this “timely” piece is obsolete. Shit.
I’m totally going to end up posting this to my blog, and 23 people will read it.
I’m never going to publish my memoir either, but that’s okay because if I did, everyone would hate me.
*Sends it somewhere else until someone finally says “yes,” even if it takes years.
*Comes up with an idea for a new piece. Gets excited to write it.
*Repeats steps 1-21.